I am so over heels. Unless it's a special occasion and all I have to do is sit around looking at my poor tortured toes (seriously, who invented high heels and thought, "These look like a good idea!"?), I'm not wearing them.
I love shoes, until recently I had all the shoes. I was never a fan of ridiculously high shoes, but yes, for a long time I committed every crime against podiatry you could imagine. And then one day, I stopped. Or rather, a twisted ankle stopped me dead in my tracks.
I was in a grocery store ogling a particularly well endowed piece of salmon, turned awkwardly to adjust my shoulder bag and prod it lightly (everyone knows good salmon is firm to the prod), when I heard a snap, crack and pop. I ended on the floor, in shock, feeling a warm, burning sensation envelop my right ankle. I was wearing the cutest pair of low heeled Guess booties which were totes appropriate for food shopping, and all I could think of was, "If they call the ambulance they're going to cut it off my foot!"
Perhaps I mentioned that I was rather nuts about shoes?
I managed to get the bootie off and to my horror my ankle immediately swelled to elaphantesque proportions. The words BIG and MISTAKE may have flashed in neon letters across my mind, but I was saving my booties from the paramedics, remember? The pain hit then too, and I blubbered like a newborn in the middle of the fish aisle of the store. A panicked duty manager hustled me off, packed to the knee with quickly procured ice, in a wheely office chair ( the store had no wheelchair!) to the exit where hubby was waiting to get me to the hospital on time.
A severe inversion of the something at the something else was diagnosed, I was strapped to the wazoo and given the.best.pain.pills and orders to rest – ice – compress – elevate for the next 48 – 72 hours, or until the swelling had subsided. It also meant no high heels for the foreseeable future.
I looked aghast at the flats in my shoe closet. These? I had to make these work somehow? For every occasion? What about work?! I couldn't! But then….I did.
- Have at least two pairs in neutral colours like black, grey and nude.
- One pair in leopard and one pair in a bight colour like red or orange.
- A pair or two with interesting features like side cutouts or texture.
- Make sure the heels are not too flat as this will cause your calf muscles to cramp and bunch up if you wear them all day every day.
The style rules for wearing flats to the office are:
- Pencil skirts require some elevation, or you risk looking like a school girl. A flat with slight heel would work.
- Midi skirts need some sort of interest. Add the flat in a D'Orsay detail, leopard or bright colour.
- Maxi skirts make shoes disappear so wear a neutral flat.
- Keep toes covered especially in conservative offices.
- Wide leg trousers follow the same rule as pencil skirts: elevate.
- Straight leg pants are the midi skirts of trousers, so need some interest too.
- Cigarette, cropped or skinny leg trousers look fabulous with flats, just watch Audrey Hepburn in any of her movies for inspiration.
All ankling abilities have now been restored and I can safely switch between heels and flats whenever I want, but I find that I don't. Want, that is.
I have tossed, sold or donated most of my vertiginous heels, and now have a fairly solid collection of flats, midis and highs ( all wedge or block heeled) and will leave the spindly stiletto types to my G for whenever she's ready.
What about you? Do you worship at the altar of shoes? What do you prefer? Let me know in the comments.
Until next I blog,