You’re on a roll. You got your morning routine down, kids are eating breakfast without killing one another, lunches are packed, that report for work is amaze-balls, your outfit is rocking and you feel totally in charge of all that is you and your world.
You decide to take a breath, have a cup of coffee and quickly scroll through your SM feed.
Wow, Aria’s traveling to Bali and is looking so in love with her new man. He’s a millionaire and spoils her rotten.
Allie’s business is taking off and she just celebrated hitting 10k on her followers on Instagram. Jeez!
Mariam’s kid is graduating summa cum lauda and she’s just bought a new Mercedes. Gosh!
Unbeknownst to you the dark clouds of self critiscm and envy start rolling over your sunny day.
Your kids are eating regular cereal with regular milk. No fresh fruit on gluten free special cut something or other. Your report isn’t as great as you thought and your outfit is out of season and kinda tight. You snap at the kids to hurry up, scowl at hubby as he walks out the door without rinsing his coffee mug.
In the car you wonder how Haida has such flawless hair and skin, how Alaa always gets the accolades at work and how fabulous Rene looks a month after having her perfect baby boy.
Congratulations, you’ve played yourself!
What you don’t realise is that what SM shows are the highlight reels of everyone’s “perfect” lives. It’s the result of countless deleted selfies, hours of makeup, sucked in bellies and miles of Spanx. It’s children who are finally cooperating long enough to take a cute pic. SOs that are coerced into being Instahubby’s (aka, the photographer), and many “Wait, that doesn’t look right, take it again”photos.
It’s not real, but my gosh it looks so good, doesn’t it?
I know. I’ve been there. Done that. Got the T- shirt. Heck, I bought the factory producing the T-shirts!
What did you miss?
You missed that you have healthy kids that actually get along. You missed that you’re balancing a near perfect work- life juggling act. You missed that you have a wonderful husband that supports you through all of it. You missed that your body got you through babies, body dysmorphia issues and endless yo-yo diets. You missed the fact that that orange “last season” Michael Kors jacket lights up your face. You missed the sparkle in your eyes and the wideness of your grin.
At work you missed the appreciation on your boss’s face, the envy on your colleagues faces. You miss the fact that you may be up for promotion because your work was outstanding.
So what now?
SM can be a leech. It takes away your confidence, your mojo, your uniqueness.
By constantly comparing yourself and your life to those lives on SM, you can miss the best parts of your life.
I suggest trying three things:
1. Go on a SM diet. Limit your intake to 2-3 times a day. Morning, afternoon and evening for just 30 minutes at a time.
2. Comment on each of the accomplishments on your SM. Leave a positive, congratulatory message and then let it go. It’s done.
3. Take a few snaps of your “imperfect” life. Be brave. The kids with milk all over their little faces, how great you look in that outfit, a snap of you at work with your report. Your attitude will give others permission to let their real selves shine too.
Then go and roll on the floor with your kids, teach them how to build a real pillow fort. Lie down on the couch with your feet on your husband’s lap and ask for a foot rub. Chat about your day. Get the kids in the bath and tell the bedtime story over and over again. And then? When it’s all done, get ready to do it all again tomorrow.
Your life is perfect. Your progress is just that. YOUR progress. Don’t bother comparing the instasnaps and FB timelines to YOUR progress.
I’ll never say it’s not real. It may very well be. But your real is just as cool. Just don’t forget to appreciate it, too!
Until next I blog,