Let’s just say the last few days have been filled with the type of existential angst I last experienced as a teenager wondering why he wasn’t calling.
I’ve been filled with the same nagging doubt, the same paralyzing fear of failure and that same nagging kernel of self doubt that maybe, just maybe I wasn’t good enough- just as when I got ghosted by an ex at 16.
Although I’d like to claim I adulted the hell out of it this time, I’m afraid, dear reader, that I reverted to pubescent tactics of drama, tears and falling apart.
It all started you see, in an effort to bring some value to you with this blog. I reached out to a media company to analyze my efforts at blogging, pinpoint my weaknesses and help me “build my brand”. Their report was vicious to say the least.
I was unfocused. I need a redesign of almost every aspect of the blog and I need to find my USP of what I could bring you that was different to all other personal blogs. I was inconsistent with the type of blogging I was doing and my brand was non existent.
I went to my friends at the South African Bloggers Network FB page and posted a woe-is-me type missive begging for opinions. Sort of a girl squad commiseration in the bathrooms in the gym at school. Mostly I was consoled with “you’re fine”, “they don’t know you” and “keep doing you”, which worked to get me out of my funk.
So what? Now what?
Well, I stop wallowing for one. I get real about what I want to do and focus on great content and the honesty I pride myself on bringing to each and every post.
I’ll continue to learn about the best ways to serve all of you who regularly read my rantings and continue to focus on what makes me, well, me!
Because I happen to think that media company was wrong. I happen to think that as a female blogger I can be so much more, offer so much more than the tried and tested, the demographically correct and the shoulda and musts of blogging.
I started this blog because I wanted to speak to women as friends. Not as an expert( lawd knows there’s enough of them out there!), nor to set myself up as some sort of guru about what it’s like in the UAE, but as one woman to another: real, raw and talking about ALL the things that make us unique. All the things that matter to us. All the things that bother us. All the things that make us women.
So while I may decrease the number of categories I blog about, and find fewer things to blog about so that you stay with me on this journey, I’m sure as hell not about to change what makes me different. I hope you’ll all stick around for the ride.
What do you think? Am I hitting the mark or missing the point? Sound off in the comments.
Until next I blog,