In this part of the world queens and princesses are dime a dozen. Literally everyone is a sheikha. Really.
In one class I taught a few years back, there were maybe a dozen who claimed royal lineage. Of course they used their priviledge to get out of schoolwork, but still.
Of course the meaning of being a Queen for the purposes of this post has nothing to do with having blue blood.
What defines a Queen?
A Queen is poised, kind and graceful. She’s mature, driven, determined and focused. She seeks knowledge and values learning. A Queen treats people with respect and courtesy and always thinks the best of them. She’s never selfish with her time and is always willing to be of service to her fellow mankind. She values loyalty, inspires trust and is a champion to those less fortunate. She knows her value and won’t settle for anything less. She deals with setbacks and disappointments with calm and stoicism. She celebrates life and its challenges, knowing it’s all we really have.
Quite a list isn’t it?
Notice I didn’t mention her looks, her achievements or her degrees and accomplishments? That’s because they don’t matter.
You can be a CEO and be a Queen. You can be a janitor and be a Queen. You can be a Queen with a high school diploma or without.
Being a Queen is about setting standards for yourself and for others you choose to interact with. Being a Queen is about knowing yourself and knowing what feeds you and what depletes you.
What is the point of this post? Recent events in South Africa have made me introspective.
A beautiful young Queen was killed, her body burned and her corpse buried. Karabo Mokoena was 22 years old.
A little girl was kidnapped, raped, and killed. Her body was dumped on an empty field. Courtney Pieters was 3 years old.
I could be here all day as the list is, sadly, endless.
The question foremost in my mind is this: how do we stop this?
My answer? By raising Queens.
When we as mother Queens teach our daughter’s that they don’t accept abuse, then Karabo Mokoena will rest easy. A Queen would teach her son that abuse doesn’t not beget respect and that women are not chattel to be owned after a date or a beer. A Queen would empower her daughter to know a good man from a great man and that to never be still when he is nothing but a mistake. A Queen would tell her daughter that walking away intact is more important than staying for love or fear.
When we as mother Queens support other mother Queens and look out for each other’s children, then Courtney Pieters can soar with angels. Queens build a hive around their children and everyone works to protect the children. Queens get children off the street and work to keep them safe when mother Queens have to go to work.
When Queens demand protection as befits their status then QUEEN can heal, safe in the knowledge she would be the last Queen to be assaulted while earning her livelihood. When Queens stand up and demand safe transport home or no work will happen. Queens stand for safe communities and teach their sons that being a gentleman is better than a gangster any day.
A Queen runs her home, her workplace and her community with the same vigor she displays in her person.
Queens raise boys to respect and protect. Queens support other Queens in all things – great and little. Queens demand that the men in her life step up or step out.
Our country, our communities, our families, our children will continue to suffer unless we as women stand up, demand what we deserve and start expecting a damned sight more from the people in our lives and from ourselves.
I don’t agree with this. Men come from Queens. If men are trash it’s because a Queen made a mistake, didn’t step up and make him the best man he could be. Queens have the weight of the world on her shoulders. Once she shrugged and the world fell apart. Men can’t be trash because Queens don’t make trash.
My heart is in my stomach all the time nowadays. But I have to stay strong because I have a Queen watching. She’s learning her strength from me. I cannot falter. I dare not.
Arise Queen. Raise your fist. Salute your strength and demand more!
In memory of the women and children in South Africa that have lost their lives to violence and rape.
Until next I blog,