Me and mine have been, and no doubt still are, at the receiving end of untold amounts of gossip over the years. Most of it malicious, some of it warranted.
Since I’m not a click – y person and very much prefer to do my own thing, I’ve never felt the need to gossip about anyone. People who thrive in groups or cliques, gossip to feel connected to the group.
When you’re a loner, it doesn’t affect you as much.
To my mind one has to be extremely immature to still be engaging in what amounts to schoolgirl, school yard style behaviour.
A meme I once read said:
“You know you read too many psychology books when you don’t get upset at people’s behaviour, but rather try to explain it.” Or something like that.
A conversation with me about something you heard would inevitably go like this:
You: So and So said Something or Other about you. I just thought you should know.
Cue a ” Why did they feel comfortable enough to say it to YOU?” thought that flashes through my head at lightning speed, before I respond.
Me: Really, and…?
Cue a half hour explanation about how come you heard this and how you really don’t care what was said, but that you thought I should know.
I don’t get into it beyond that. I don’t repeat it to anyone. I shrug it off for what it is. A waste of my time.
You see, I got shit going on I need to pay attention to. I want things in my life that that person could only dream of. I want to do things with my life that that person only wishes they could do. So, I don’t absorb any of it, any of the negativity. Because to do so would deplete the energy resources I need to go on and do great things with my life.
Gossip says more about the gossiper than the gossipee.
It makes people feel good to say mean things about others. It gives them a sense of power or vindication or pleasure.
And that should tell you all you really need to know.
If your source of pleasure or power comes from speaking badly about others, then, my friend, you are in need of a life.
Passing judgement on those who are absent for the conversation is petty, malicious and childish. People who gossip want to devalue or demean the other person, thereby raising themselves in the eyes of their confidant. These people lack confidence and need to feel valued, or need to feel better than someone else by lowering the other person’s value.
Like I said before, get a life.
If you are the type of person people come to with gossip, ask yourself what it is about you that draws these people to you. Why do they feel comfortable enough to talk to you?
Gossip is destructive, breaks families apart and makes the world a meaner, harsher place for everyone. Stop doing it. Stop doing it in front of your children.
But it won’t. You won’t. Because it makes you feel good….
You see, people will always talk. Give them an excuse and they will talk. But my mom once said, ” It’s once they stop talking about you, that you should worry.”
Until next I blog,