We’re a couple of decent people.
No, really. Depending on who you listen to, we could either be angels from heaven or demon spawn of Satan. Depends on who you ask…
But as parents I’d say we are fairly awesome. We provide what we need to provide for our child, including love, security and a strong sense of belonging. She knows she’s loved more than life itself and her very self – confidence is telling.
And we’d like to spread that love around a bit.
Adoption has been on my mind since G was about 5 years old. I had decided that pregnancy and childbirth were waaaaay overrated and I needn’t be doing it again. But I do want another child.
I spoke to habibi about it and he agreed.
We’ve got alot to offer a child and we need to do something great within this lifetime. There are literally millions of children who need a loving home, stability and love.
Also, I had already procreated and proven I am a woman and hubby has proven he’s a prolific progenitor of little humans.
We looked at our offspring and decided our work was good.
So we started looking into adoption options in the UAE.
The ease and convenience were attractive. But then I went to jail( another blogpost, another time) and met JP.
His mother was Philippino, his father a local. She had been raped and was incarcerated at his majesty’s pleasure.
She was also married and her hubby back in the Philippines didn’t want another mouth to feed, especially if it wasn’t his.
JP was gorgeous and looked like the mini version of hubby. I spent every waking hour changing Pampers, feeding him and teaching him English nursery rhymes.
His mother was in a quandry. I was in love.
I decided to speak to the ( very lovely) captain of the facility. I was told I couldn’t adopt JP because I wasn’t a Muslim.
I decided to speak to the embassy. They said it would be best to adopt JP from the Philippines. That would be expensive, and a nightmare considering her unpleasant husband now demanded exorbitant sums of money to hand over a child he didn’t want to begin with!
Eventually she managed to get her case sorted and was due for deportation. With JP.
My heart broke into a million pieces and I couldn’t stop crying. I took all her contact details and promised to stay in touch.
And I did.
Every week for more than a year I called her. She sent pics of a fast growing JP. He was walking with little bandy legs and had a shock of dark hair.
I already felt like he was mine.
Then she stopped answering my calls, emails, and texts. It was like she disappeared off the face of the planet.
That was more than 5 years ago. I have reached out to agencies and the embassies in SA and the Philippines and haven’t had any success. They reckoned she must have moved or provided a false address. They reckoned I was being taken for a ride, since I regularly also sent money to her for JP’s needs.
I didn’t want to accept that, but facts were facts. She’d disappeared and no-one could trace her or JP.
Slowly, eventually, my heart let Jean -Paul go.
But now I have a huge gaping hole where another child should fit. Could fit.
However, we’ve decided to wait until we’re back in SA. There are too many children there wanting, needing a warm home with the loving arms of a mother and father.
Until next I blog,