How to keep romance alive over 40

I am uniquely unqualified to write about relationships.

I’ve only ever had two serious relationships, and I married the second guy.  A few days ago we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary with our 10 year old.

We’ve had our ups and downs, battled through some crazy odds, and still we’re working it out.
It doesn’t really end. Marriage is work. Relationships with other people take work.

If that doesn’t put you off, stick around and digest my ramblings.

By the time you reach 40, you’re one of two things : pretty set in your ways and settled or looking for a change because you think you’re heading downhill and want a last fling.

Being in a relationship while having a midlife crisis is the stuff TV sitcoms are made of. That said, the end of an marriage is no laughing matter, especially if children are involved. 😞

Wife is dealing with peri menopause while hubby is dealing with man-o-pause. He wants to hit the pause button to see if he can still pull.

Sad thing is, he probably could. So could the woman, if she wanted. The term ‘cougar’ exists for a reason.

I think many people, men and women alike, think that starting all over after 40 will be glamourous. Fast cars, mini skirts, sexy younger men/women and so on.



The reality could be very different. 

You could be that lonely old man wearing pleated chinos, leaning against the bar drinking a whiskey straight up and asking the 19 year old girl at the bar, “How you doing, honey?”, while staring down her blouse.

Or you could be the woman in the too tight cat suit, slit up to her wazoo and down to her whatsis, gyrating against the 20-something year old on the dance floor!


Of course relationships needn’t be a tragicomedy like this. Some older people go on to successful relationships with younger people. Not many I can think of, but I’m sure they exist. 😏

I’m not planning to be the lady at Swingers, fondly known as “Grab- a-Granny”, hoping to schtup a child, having to leave at 10PM because her aching knees/ hips/ bunions can’t stand another minute in the torturous heels she’s forced herself into.

I’m sure hubby would prefer not to have to raise a pre-pubescent girlfriend when he’s got a daughter to raise already, and then asking said GF to pluck his ear hairs!

So where does that leave us?

Well, with compromise, communication and commitment, that’s all.

The 3 C’s that have nothing to do with diamonds. We’ll have to make a serious go of adulting.

Compromise because neither one of us is perfect,  we will make mistakes and we will have to meet each other halfway.

Communication because without it we’re lost. I have to adapt to his way of communicating and he has to adapt to mine. We won’t always like what the other has to say but we’ll have to suck it up and put on our big person pants!

Commitment: to each other, our vows, our future together and to our child. Does the world really need another divorce? Methinks not.

That’s it really. My relationship advice.


Take it with a grain of salt because I’m talking through my ass. Or am I?😁

Until next I blog, 

K.

5 thoughts on “How to keep romance alive over 40

  1. Agree its all about compromise, which I did a lot of until just recently. Now I am far better at communicating what I want out of our relationship and it feels much more balanced. I do that too – pluck his ear hairs. My hubby’s………… not yours……..obviously.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, thanks for taking the time to read and respond. 🙌🏼
      I always tell my hubby no one else will ever love him enough to pluck his ear hairs, so he’d better treat me good. He does!

      I think as you get older you become more accepting of the idiosyncrasies that may have turned you off when you were younger, while also knowing what you’ll put up with and what you won’t.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I find a sense of humour helps. Life is so short hun. When you find that one person that makes it worthwhile you have to smile and let some things go. It’s no use holding on to crap. I’m sure you’ll be fine. 💋

      Like

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