Redefining beauty after 40

No really.

How can you feel beautiful if all day, every day one is exposed to this:

Hey, 40+-er! Feel beautiful yet?

Nah, if you’re seeking outside validation of your beauty, you’ll be hard pressed to find it. Society just doesn’t work that way.

No – one cares to seek the beauty in your soul if the lustre of your skin is gone. No – one cares to praise the strides in your achievements if the stride isn’t of a 20 year old.

To feel beautiful a woman over 40 has to see it in herself, and project the confidence THAT instils out to the world.

It should not matter if they agree with what you feel, only that you feel it. 

There is no need to compete with the younger, hotter versions of you. They too will age.

There is no need for constant manipulations of the face and body. The cost and the pain makes it an unattractive option.

The only thing that matters is that you accept yourself and love yourself, JUST AS YOU ARE.

Amen. Preach over.

So how do I maintain all this fabulosity? Do I put my money where my mouth is, or do I run off to the plastic surgeon every time I see a frown line?

Not at all, dear reader!

My ass is lazy. I will always do the bare minimal, or find another, easier way to do things. I will do the basics and pray ( not really) that it works.

Also I hate pain. So much so that I took my mom with me when I finally had my ears pierced, at age 16! So sorry, mr. Grey!

Once a year I see a dermatologist. Here I have my plentiful moles checked ( so so SO important, people!) and have a good look at what’s happening in the deeper dermal layers.

Other than that my daily regiment consists of 5 products: Dove soap, Clarins eye cream, Olay 7 day and night cream and a sunblock with a SPF of 50. Nothing more. Sometimes I may splurge and get a serum or something similar, but not often.

Makeup is more complicated. I have a YUGE makeup case filled with all the things; jars, tubes, pots, powders, and so on. I love the things. I will shop until Sephora chases me home.I don’t have any idea how to actually use most of it, but I love the things! Therefore the makeup bag is yuge.

Once a week I exfoliate. Because I have melasma, I have to make sure I remove the dead skin on the reg. Melasma appears darker the closer it is to the surface of the skin. So regular exfoliation is key to keeping it under control. Dull skin with melasma is…unimaginable!


I use a combination of products. I use the Mary Kay Time Wise Microdermabrasion Set because it is life – altering. I have been hooked ever since my friend Gaudalupe introduced me to it.


I use the Olay Regenerist brush and scrub a little more often, mostly after breakouts or if my skin is feeling blah. It is more gentle than the Mary Kay and can be used more than once a week.


For my body I use these pink scrubby glove things. I have unfortunate skin that freaks out if I get too rough or neglect it too much, so I have to be careful when scrubbing away.

Heaven is rubbing all the itchy and scratchy spots on your body with these Brillo – like gloves! Since I’ve been using it the keratosis pilaris on the backs of my arms have gone. I generally use a nice smelling scrub, like the one from Sanctuary or just Dove soap again.

Of course, once I’ve stripped the skin I have to replace the oils. I use Bio -Oil or a plant based all -over- body -lotion. Nivea really is my favourite, though.

* Update:  Nivea has been in the media lately for its racist ads. I don’t support racist companies and will not be purchasing any products from Beierdörf in the future. I’m a firm believer in being an informed consumer and am now sourcing a new, hopefully better, body lotion from a more inclusive and ethical company. Hook me up with details if you know of any. 


My hands take a beating out here. I have to use a rich moisturiser otherwise I get old woman hands and you know I’m not ready for that shyte! I really like the Dermalogica Age Smart for keeping my hands smooth and my nails healthy.

I’m trying to incorporate more natural products and have even made my own sugar lip scrub and body scrub with baking soda and coconut oil. It’s fun messing about in the kitchen and doing my skin good at the same time. YouTube is a gold mine if you’re into natural DIY products.


The other things you already know: drink lots of water ( don’t really argue with that out here in the desert), get your sleep ( I aim for a solid 7-8 hours a night), take your vitamins (I use Vitabiotics Feroglobin and Women’s Health Vitamin B6), and move your booty every now and again ( I’m into Yoga – but more of that in tomorrow’s post).


After 40 it really is all about maintenance. 

Being realistic about what I look like and how I want to look really has released me from the often ridiculous pursuit of youth.

Taking care of myself is high on the agenda, but I realised that I have more important things to do than pay for a plastic surgeon’s house in Antigua.


Things like earning more laugh lines with my family, more frown lines from completing my Masters, and yes (!) more satisfaction from doing what I love.

Until next I blog, 


*Oh, and this is an entirely unsponsored post. I paid cash money for all these things. 


4 thoughts on “Redefining beauty after 40

  1. In my 40’s I was a lot more conscious about not meeting the ideal. Turning 50 makes you more accepting of your flaws, that was/is my experience. I’m still adjusting and trying to make sense of where I fit in with society’s norms/expectations of an older woman because I refuse to accept the current dominate narrative. Women of all ages are vibrant and beautiful inside and out and we should all celebrate our differences

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s